Only the Lonely

- "Only the Lonely" by Roy Orbison, from Black and White Night (1988)

The Dentist and the Crocodile

Here is a poem by Roald Dahl. According to the Poetry Foundation, it's "good for children."

The crocodile, with cunning smile, sat in the dentist’s chair.
He said, “Right here and everywhere my teeth require repair.”
The dentist’s face was turning white. He quivered, quaked and shook.
He muttered, “I suppose I’m going to have to take a look.”
“I want you”, Crocodile declared, “to do the back ones first.
The molars at the very back are easily the worst.”
He opened wide his massive jaws. It was a fearsome sight—
At least three hundred pointed teeth, all sharp and shining white.
The dentist kept himself well clear. He stood two yards away.
He chose the longest probe he had to search out the decay.
“I said to do the back ones first!” the Crocodile called out.
“You’re much too far away, dear sir, to see what you’re about.
To do the back ones properly you’ve got to put your head
Deep down inside my great big mouth,” the grinning Crocky said.
The poor old dentist wrung his hands and, weeping in despair,
He cried, “No no! I see them all extremely well from here!”
Just then, in burst a lady, in her hands a golden chain.
She cried, “Oh Croc, you naughty boy, you’re playing tricks again!”
“Watch out!” the dentist shrieked and started climbing up the wall.
“He’s after me! He’s after you! He’s going to eat us all!”
“Don’t be a twit,” the lady said, and flashed a gorgeous smile.
“He’s harmless. He’s my little pet, my lovely crocodile.”

- by Roald Dahl, from Rhyme Stew (1989)

New Year

In the spirit of the most underwhelming evening of the year, here are some of Richard Avedon's photos from New Year's Eve of 1989, which he spent near the Brandenburg Gate in Berlin. The complete series, which views exactly as you may expect (blurry, observant, and chaotic) may be found here on his website.

Songs That Were Ripped Off, pt. I

You might have noticed that I tend to make sense of the world by trying to find tenuous connections between anything and everything, especially with regards to pop culture. I've decided to put this tendency to some use by gradually sharing some songs that, to me, sound a lot like previously-released works. I don't want to use the word plagiarism or anything, but the similarities are uncanny.

Full disclosure: I'm trying to write a twenty-page paper on the cemeteries of Al-Andalusia in Spanish, and it's becoming increasingly difficult. As such, this post is the product of tedious procrastination and wasted time.

The song: "Then The Morning Comes" by Smash Mouth (1999)
    What it ripped off: "La La Love You" by the Pixies (1989)

This one's been bothering me for a long, long time. I first heard "Then The Morning Comes" as a tender-eared child of five or six, and didn't discover the Pixies until five or six years later. The first time I heard "La La Love You," I felt like the whole world opened up. What was, to my six-year-old ears, the talent and creativity of Smash Mouth, was revealed to be lazy and unmotivated stealing from a group who actually had talent, once upon a time. Listen to these and tell me the guitar riff is not exactly the same (except way less impressive when stolen).

The original:

 

- "La La Love You" by Pixies, from Doolittle (April 1989)

The rip-off:

- "Then The Morning Comes" by Smash Mouth, from Astro Lounge (June 1999)

Bad Mouth

Yesterday I had my wisdom teeth pulled. They put me under, but thanks to the advice of my good friend Zoë, I asked them to save my teeth before the procedure. When I woke up, groggy and confused, I found my teeth in a little envelope taped to my shirt. And, because I was still fairly affected by the anesthesia, it was a hugely triumphant moment.

Then I got home and spent the rest of my day in bed, watching Billy Wilder movies and complaining about how badly my jaw hurt and how I couldn't eat anything crunchy.

So in honor of wisdom tooth extractions and good music, I give you Fugazi.

- "Bad Mouth" by Fugazi, originally released on the EP Fugazi (1988)